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How can I release my people pleasing attitude which is giving me a hard time professionally and personally? | Aatmikk

Q:-(Anonymous)- I’m leaving a five-month-old job because of a toxic relationship with my boss. He keeps finding faults, threatens me on things. This has turned into a toxic work relationship triggered by my people pleasing patterns. I want to understand how can I avoid such situations in the future and what is the way forward if I want to break this pattern as I can now notice I do it in every relationship of mine.

Hi! anonymous
There are a lot of different perspectives I have for your situation

1. Low self-esteem is a major cause in our own subconscious mind, which attracts people and situations in our life where people try to pull us down and demean us or try to make us feel unworthy. It can happen professionally as well as personally. In such a case, I would prefer to work on childhood incidents where there were issues related to child comparison or sibling rivalry, etc.

2. The pattern originates from parents – if parents, especially mother, believes that in order to be proven best in family or society , one needs to become or behave in a certain way the child fails to recognize and connect with the real self. Also, if the mother had her own self-esteem or self-worth issues, the child automatically mimics the pattern of parents to be a good child, but all this happens unconsciously.

Solution- Start working on your low self worth and self-esteem problem through affirmations and meditations but for a deeper healing all the inner children in the therapy needs to be addressed and healed and much more needs to be done in a private session in order to collapse the patterns.

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